She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
