i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
