he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
two words: eviction party
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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