Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
