wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
