remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I need to align my fucking chakras
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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