Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
