New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
