How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
