he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
