I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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