If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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