There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
