Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
