dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
