It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
