when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
