Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
