well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
