I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
