and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
