I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
