I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
