A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
