when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
