you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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