Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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