Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
