I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
