so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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