yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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