Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
