She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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