eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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