i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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