i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Mom said you looked used
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
