Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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