i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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