They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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