To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
