im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
