No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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