every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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