the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
