you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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