Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
