you guys were way drunker than both of me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
