Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
