I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Randomize
