Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
did i walk over a car last night?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
